is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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