Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He? As in you personified your dick?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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