I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
