She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
