I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
birth control should be required to get into college
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
