Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
