I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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