I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
