It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
