After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Randomize
