Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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