You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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