i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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