I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
