Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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