There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
