yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
