I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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