I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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