Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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