her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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