Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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