I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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