so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
