It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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