i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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