I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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