Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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