i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
