it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
