We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I love having hate sex.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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