Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize