final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
