I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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