it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
