Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
