That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
