Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Jerry, you need to find god
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Your penis caused this!
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