hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
