I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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