Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
