Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The uberlube is also flammable
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
