my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
