ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
