So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize