he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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