I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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