do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
