sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize