What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
