ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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