i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
