He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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