So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
