I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize