It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
