youre lurking in front of me
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
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