if i can run in heels then i can drive
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The Olympian is in my bed
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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