There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
