i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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