I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
