3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize