We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
