I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
