the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
