So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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