Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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