i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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