My room smells like vodka and shame
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
