There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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