Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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