Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
