At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
