the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
she peed on how many people?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
