Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
