she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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