after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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