I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
