I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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