You can't motorboat a personality
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
