whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
