i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
