I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
