bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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