grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
