I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize