yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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