The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
