Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
